Therapeutic relationship is a powerful thing, and ideally something that affirms your full range of expression, and your full range of experiences. Our lives are all as messy and painful as they are perfect, and with this in mind I invite you to learn about my therapeutic lens while reflecting on what it is that you want to create in the therapy room.
The Process
Trust
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Think for a moment on the long-term, healthy relationships in your life. How did you develop trust in these relationships? A therapeutic relationship can be a concentrated version of a trusted bond in your life, and in fact the therapeutic relationship can be a microcosm of how you relate to others. Therapeutic trust grows over time as we get to know one another, test boundaries, and begin to feel settled in the room. I aspire to show up for you with curiosity, humor, deep care, and at times, loving confrontation. The foundation of an attuned, trusting relationship can allow for incredible depth in healing.
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Risk
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For many of us, the safest relationships are often the relationships we feel most accepted as ourselves in. Within these safe relationships we can extend ourselves to take risks, knowing we'll still be safe if we err. In the therapy room I encourage risk taking based on your goals and desires, and for each person this looks a little different. Risk, as something new, is often uncomfortable. So we celebrate risk-taking and the discomfort that comes with it! Discomfort is simply one more sensation to explore.
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Growth
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My experience is that personal awareness and growth are a natural result of a therapeutic relationship based on trust and risk-taking. Having the bravery to challenge, get feedback, feel, and accept ourselves in session creates space to question the usefulness of our habitual thinking and consider scary and exciting new possibilities.
THERAPY MODALITIES
Integrative Psychotherapy means that I pull techniques and methods from various therapeutic schools to build custom approaches for each client. If it seems like your brain lights eagerly up when we talk about the various parts inside of you, we'll explore that more. If you obviously don't relate to talking about the physical experience of your body, we approach it differently. That said -- and I cannot emphasize this next point enough -- in therapy, as in anything, you have to practice new skills to become proficient in them.
Here are some approaches that I consistently find helpful:
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Mindfulness
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'Mindfulness' has become quite popular, and with good reason. Mindfulness exercises are linked to decreased emotional reactivity, stress reduction, and less ruminating on the negative. It is also linked to boosting focus, cognitive flexibility, and alleviating a myriad of physical health issues such as psoriasis, chronic pain, and even common colds.
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If this seems like an appropriate tool for you, we will use mindfulness techniques actively and passively, interweaving new skills and questions that will become second nature. The aim is not to be still or quiet, but rather to build the tool of metacognition - or, thinking about thinking. When we are able to consider our thoughts rather than react immediately, we have cultivated a bit more emotional flexibility and freedom.
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Somatic Therapy
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Somatic therapy techniques build up our bodily awareness. Practically this creates more room in our experiencing so that rather than feeling completely overwhelmed by our frantic anxiety or all-encompassing sadness, we begin to understand the different unique and nameable components that make up these emotional states. In addition, when we use awareness to name what's happening inside while it's happening, we are building up tolerance to our physical experiences. When we build distress tolerance, we can enjoy more of life outside of our fight/flight/freeze/faun (trauma) responses. Are you quick to anger and catch yourself yelling when you didn't intend to? Do you shut down without realizing it when your partner mentions certain topics? Perhaps you regret saying yes to extra work hours, but can't fathom knowing how to say 'no' to your boss in the moment. These are all examples of daily trauma responses -- moments when we become quickly overwhelmed and do not act (speak, think) from a place of groundedness. Building somatic awareness allows us to remain present while experiencing our emotional states, so that we can respond the way we would authentically like to.​​​
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​Nonviolent Communication
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When working with couples or with individuals learning how to understand their own needs and boundaries, nonviolent communication (NVC) is my absolute go-to. While it can be intimidating as a term, NVC is simply a structured way of communicating emotions and desires while remaining connected, empathetic and collaborative. Oftentimes the starting point for NVC is learning to understand one's own needs and emotions, a practice which some of us indeed never learned. NVC is especially pragmatic during couples therapy due to the opportunity to practice conversations in real time with the NVC script, and to receive feedbacks or moments of pause with me present as a facilitator.
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Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
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Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) tools help with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and radical acceptance. With worksheets, exercises, and practical application, DBT is an active and concrete model that I employ to support deeper therapeutic work.
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Internal Family Systems (IFS)
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IFS is a relatively new therapeutic approach, rooted in a very old idea: parts work. In short, IFS aims to give a voice to the different 'parts' of ourselves that we have often silenced, ignored, or criticized. IFS trusts that while perhaps chaotic or even harmful in behavior, these parts are all well-intentioned, and are simply trying to protect us from the same kind of pain they are burdened by. Rather than getting rid of these parts, we find them, listen to them, and unburden them. I often find these tools meaningful to people who seek to understand root causes, and enjoy guided imagery.